I just want to add this entry to serve as a reminder how today made some things very clear to me. I wish i can say that it's a eureka moment that i've finally figured out the cure for cancer but it's not... Today i realized how wrong i can be at how i perceive myself and how all attempts at confidence is futile. I can't shut off the part of me that I will never agree with. I'm writing this down because i will never be brave enough to scream this out loud even though i should. And it just really breaks me that i'm not even strong enough to make the change or love myself enough to be brave. I wish i'm brave enough. I want to be so badly you have no idea. But doing something means acknowledging the presence of the problem and that right there makes it even more real. And admitting that it's real means i can never escape from it. So there.
On a lighter note this is also the first blog i've written on a tablet and it's really painful. That's also the reason why this entry is so short. I dare you to try and blog on your tablet without a physical keyboard. Painful. All the apostrophes are just painful. I dare you to freakin try.
I have a lot of feelings today.
