Unconditional Love

i'm going to regret this blog post after. in the coming years for sure. but i don't care. i don't usually care but at this moment i have this renewed passion for not caring and i want to say that unconditional love is bullshit. it's a whole lot of BS and we all know it. actually that's part of it's appeal and grandeur. right?! isn't it that unconditional love's "bullshittedness" the same thing that makes it a beautiful kind of love? because you love without any conditions at all. that's the appeal. when you're capable of loving unconditionally you don't ask for anything and nothing matters because you love someone that much. they say that a relationship needs to have this to work or function. not sure where i get this from but that's what i know at least so if i'm wrong i don't care!!! it's all bullshit because even though we're all capable thinking creatures we love unconditionally knowing that it's a whole lot of BS.

i think it has become an excuse for other people to take advantage of those capable of loving unconditionally that's why i call it bullshit. because guess what?! you're stupid enough to love unconditionally!! yes stupid! mostly because of the fine line of unconditional love and being taken for granted. i'm sure we are all capable of loving unconditionally and all that jazz but we are ALSO just human and we have limits. LIMITS! we are not perfect creatures and i don't care that loving unconditionally is geniune and beautiful and it's only real when you're not selfish and shit. well boo hoo i hope you get your happiness by sacrificing your life for nothing!! for giving everything so that you can gain ABSOFUCKINLUTELY NOTHING!!!! i don't get why this is ideal. or at the very least beautiful!!??! what do people who get unconditional love have more than those who give it? why is that the person doing something beautiful the one that should suffer?!?! can't it be automatic give and take?!? what are you doing karma?! were you sleeping when it's all happening to me?! and now i'm at the finish line of this bullshit and i've had enough of it!! i don't care, what do i gain when all is said and done?! when you've ignored all conditions of love and you're still the one unhappy? huh? what?!

i know nobody asked me to do this. and i have the choice to be on the other side of this argument in my head wherein i'm the one receiving this unconditional love and not the one giving it. but i suck it up and decided to be the bigger person and do what i'm supposed to do because that's my principle in life!! and it's supposed to be the right thing to do!!!!!!!!!!! and all. i get. is. bullshit. of course i didn't think this would happen when i started loving like that. why would i!??! i have no time to think of the consequences and yeah i've said it earlier that it's the right thing to do!!! there shouldn't be any consequences involving writing a blog post about bullshit!!! yes in short why is the world unfair!?!??!?! WHY!?!? also because i think i may just realized that i want to be on the receiving end of unconditional love. i'm not saying i'm NOT IN ONE NOW. i'm saying that i realized that i finally want to be selfish for once. i want it to be ok to be selfish. because i love myself that much and i want to be selfish and want what i want. and to absolutely refuse anything that makes me feel less of a person than what i am now. and to just feel that whatever it is i want to feel that i'm worth it. because i know i am. and i'm too selfish right now to acknowledge the fact that you're trying to make me feel i'm worth it. and i'm just too selfish to know. or i'm in a position wherein all i think about is myself. but we both know that's not true.

but i'm sorry because i want to be selfish. i might not have the chance again so i'm taking this chance now. and i officially admit that i no longer want to be a part of this unconditional love.

yeah yeah. it's a whole lot of BS  because i don't mean it. and i know you know that. if you don't, then i regret wasting my time on you. also, part of my not caring is proper punctuation.